agnostically employed

killing time. 

today i was trying to figure out the best way to fill my time here at work. see, most people work at work. i "work." i'm in this strange position where i show up to work, immediately boot up my miniMac and my MacBook and draw on photoshop for 8 hours. somewhere in there i go get lunch and i usually break for a coffee about 4 or so. but otherwise it's me and photoshop. now, this is a great arrangement. afterall, i'm not actually doing anything. and i do get paid, so that's nice. but i really can't fathom why my boss keeps me around. 

he spends most of his day in his office working. i spend my day outside his office learning how to paint on photoshop. occasionally, the phone rings - it didn't at all today, incidentally. he doesn't need me to work here. in fact, he would be saving alot of money by firing me. which brings me to my main question: 

why did he hire me and why doesn't he fire me? 

i've begun to think of this alot like how an agnostic thinks of god. "who is this god fellow?" they'd say. "why did he make me? what is the point? is he even real? can he hear me?" in the end, they decide to cut their losses and coast through life doing the best they can until either: 

a.) they are confronted by a profound religious experience that clears the whole mess up for them. or: 

b.) they die. 

in this light, i move courageously forward with the following outlook: either

a.) eventually my purpose here will be made clear and i will learn and grow as a human being. 

b.) my boss will realize his mistake and fire me. 

so today i spent some time doing google searches of the best way to waste time at work. i found an article that estimated that $5,000 per employee per year is waisted on non-work-related internet surfing. and this during a non-work-related internet surfing activity!